Independence

Independent political party
Independence from foreign oil
Independence... fireworks!

I like to pride myself on being an independent person. I think it is one of the best qualities a person can have. But... have you ever met anyone who is TOO independent?
I have had to work on letting myself depend on other from time-to-time. I've had to learn to depend on my husband. I've had to see that asking for help is not a weakness.
There are two people in my life, who are on extreme ends of this spectrum. I try to learn from both of them, but both drive me crazy. So here's the story...

One of them expects to be taken care of by everyone. Like it's everyone's job to worship this person and give him/her anything he/she needs. This person has such a hard life... regardless if it's hard because of their own choices. Life is just too hard on this person. This person is selfish, and either hates me, or needs something from me... but never in between! This person has never taken care of, or supported his/herself. This person has no desire to take care of him/herself, and loves to play the role of helpless and stupid... as in airheaded.

In the other corner...
This person is the first to help others. He/she is so independent that it offends them when you try to help him/her. This person seems to be in a constant battle of who has it the 'most together'. The super woman/ super man who is out to prove perfection in all things. Heaven forbid they show a weakness, or admit they need help. And with a person like that, as sweet as they seem, you can't help but think... If it kills them to have you help them, what must they think of you when you need help?

I think that our experiences in life mold us, and give us qualities... good and bad. I know that my independence came from abandonment, and the feeling that nobody cared. I have to feel physically strong because I was physically abused... and I need to know I can defend myself. I hate to conform because I live in a place where everyone expects you to conform. Had I lived somewhere else, or grown up around different people... would I be someone else entirely?

So I can't help but think... one of these people thinks I'm a in-compassionate hard ass, and the other is in a competition of who needs the least help. How can people be so different? How can I have healthy relationships with both of them?